Thursday, October 16, 2008

Bitter

I feel like shit today because I couldn't sleep last night. "Why's that, Amber?" you wonder. Well, I'll tell you.

My baby sister, who just turned 20 a week ago and has been living with a boy for a few months, told my parents and Justin that she is 7 weeks pregnant.

(rant)
Do you know what was 7 weeks ago? Go ahead and check, I'll wait. That's right, it was the weekend I told my family I was pregnant.

Now, Nikki has always been the jealous type (youngest child syndrome?). When Justin and I bought a popup camper that needed the floor fixed, we took it to my parents, because well, that's where I lived at the time (I was still in college), and when my mom took it upon herself to work on it (cause she's cool like that), Nikki got all pissed off that no one was paying any attention to HER and dented the aluminum siding on the camper with her basketball (she was 13 or 14). When I was getting married, my mom insisted on making my dress, and Nikki threw a fit (she was 15 at the time) because mom was spending so much time on MY dress.

I honestly think that when she heard I was pregnant, she told her boyfriend that she wanted a baby and they "forgot" to use protection, just so I don't get any glory.

Oh yes, I mean, I'll have the oldest grandchild in my side of the family, but who the fuck cares? 2 1/2 months later, her child will be born. SHE CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO PAY HER CELL PHONE BILL EVERY MONTH. My parents took over $2,000 of HER debt because she couldn't afford it! (HELLO! My mom even had to get a job at Walmart in order to pay for MY SISTERS debt!) How is she going to pay for $300-400 of diapers every month? Let alone she's most likely going to have to formula feed, because she can't even afford to take a day off from her own job at Walmart if she's sick!

I'm seriously tempted to tell my parents that if they help her financially in any way, they will never see their oldest grandchild. Do you think that's too harsh? Let's go over some facts.

  • Neither of my younger sisters went to college. (Well, my middle sister did, but she dropped out after a semester). When my grandfater died, Justin and I got a couch, a loveseat, a dining room table, a stand up freezer, a fridge, and a washer/dryer (which we ended up selling, or it broke and we had to replace it, something like that). My sisters? They each got $6,000.
  • When I went to college, my stepdad was in the middle of a string of jobs, and they had no money. I paid for college myself, 100%. I graduated with $30,000 in student loans (and still owe $16,000). The only thing they did was mom would pick me up from work at midnight (before I got my drivers license a year and a half later), and they let me live at home rent free. Rent free, you say? Well, they never charged either of my sisters rent, and they did nothing but sit on their ass! I even helped pay for my parents mortgage on their house!
  • When Justin and I got married, they paid out about $500 worth of stuff (not including the alcohol THEY bought which we didn't even want there). The rest? We paid for ourselves.
  • Whenever my sisters wanted to go anywhere (before they had their licenses), my parents would drive them. Me? They made me take the bus 95% of the time (and pay for it myself).

Now, do you still think I'm being too harsh? My mom said that when she and my stepdad got together, that no one helped them... they don't have any education past high school (ahem, they got together 25 years ago), so I don't think my parents should help my sister and her protection-deficient boyfriend either.

GAH.

6 comments:

Paul J said...

There is a valid rant here. This isn't just somebody being bitter, but indeed this is valid.
However. Your younger sister's reasons are unimportant now. The only thing that matters is that the child gets cared for. The child should not need for anything or get slighted because of the decisions he/she had nothing to do with. I know this whole thing sucks, and again, I agree with you 100%...but the time will come when some heads will need put together in order to bring this baby into the world the right way.
Big changes are ahead. It's all scary stuff.
By the way...Kent is a moron that needs punched. It's time to man up for him...but something warns me that he'll become scarce in all this.
But in the end, everything will work out for the best, because there are good people that will make sure of it.
There's no other option but success here!

jlynn1234 said...

Wow, 20 and pregnant. She will never get the chance to enjoy her youth like you did. You are married, you and Justin both have decent jobs, who do you think looks like the better daughter??
You'll get through this, Nikki obviously hasn't grown up enough to realize that pregnancy isn't a game, she'll find out soon enough.

Amber said...

Well, she did call me this morning, and sounded cocky. Apparently she's going to go on welfare and get food stamps.

Yay, just what I wanted - my sister to live off of MY tax dollars. As if I didn't give her enough already.

Dave K said...

Tell her to make sure and eat apples IMMEDIATELY after her prenatal vitamins...

Honestly, I was always trying to one-up my brother. He always got to do stuff first and it pissed me off. And I rebelled, I was kind of a nasty little brother at times. But my perception became my reality. I guess I grew out of it, but not sure what did it, maybe the fact our lives took us in different directions. He's a family man and kids scare the bejesus outta me. I decided that wasn't something I wanted first.

Any rate, I hope she can work thru this and still be a successful mom.

Have you ever talked to her about why she seems to be like this? I was just angry, not at my brother, but just angry. Not an easy thing to let go of, but it can be very comforting once you gain the ability to let it go. I've been in her shoes (albiet not pregnant), but understand your frustration too.

Humf... Not an easy one...

jlynn1234 said...

Cocky huh? Why would someone be proud to be living on welfare and collecting food stamps? Oh wait! Because she can sit on her ass and do nothing while we work our asses off. In all seriousness though, she probably does need it until she can get back on her feet.
How's the daddy feel about all this? Is he sticking around?
Anyway chica, muah I love you and everything will work out, call me if you feel like doing some more ranting:-)

Heather said...

Wow. Yeah, I'd be bitter. My mom has always treated my little brother so much better than the rest of us that two of my siblings no longer speak to her. The only reason I still do is because my two nephews live with her and I want to see them.

Your mother probably helps them and not you because she thinks you are capable of taking care of yourself, and for whatever reason your sisters are the way they are, your mom thinks they can't be self sufficient. She's perpetuating by helping them. What would they do without her?

You are pregnant and don't need the stress. I doubt if I would talk to any of them for awhile. Concentrate on yourself and your baby and your husband, and tell the rest of them to go to hell.